Friday, September 01, 2006
DEATH
Are you happy?
Benjy's not.
Shunned by people i could never get enough of....they were idiots, but not of my kind. i just hate their burnished faces...their theatrical voices...their stuck-up glances...their condescending remarks...they just feel like everything that a girl can ask for..and i distaste it.
Can i just promise myself not to talk to them tomorrow? Not even look at them? Demolishing every dream i had with them as the biggest star?
People aren't really what you think they are. I do not treasure people..except those who love me unconditionally. They are nothing but rubbles of my life.
Looking back, I know, i have been an affectionate friend. I have written lots of letters for people who meant so much to me. I have never forgotten special dates. I have kept candy wrappers, receipts and everything that reminded me of exceptional days.
But i have changed.
Memories pass by me like a song...after the last line, everything's worthless. I hate to say this but i do not give a damn to maudlin phases of life. I've been there before...and it did no good to me. I have forgotten how to cry already. I've had enough of it. I have forgotten how does it feel to be hurt...the darkest feeling i could ever get is hatred but it could never be planted in my heart.
The only thing that can ever make me ecstatic is literature...and the smiles of my folks and brother.
I can't remember how to cheer up because lately, i haven't been so down. Yes, i have been lonely...but not devastated.
Am i numb already?
i'm afraid i am.
and happiness threw me away.
--Peek-a-Boo--
10:05 PM
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