Friday, September 01, 2006
GET LOST SCHIZOID!
I am no longer the person you once knew. I am Benjy...may i just remind you. I know that psychopathy is already a part of me...I'm not proud of it.
I don't know if this would hurt but i'll take the guts to say this.; "I'm happier whenever i am alone." I see the most beautiful creations in my solitude. The most unrecognizable entities are the ones that i treasure the most.
I live to ramsack life's unfathomable wishing wells, to take note of unseismographical earthquakes and to look for some peace of mind and from all of these, I became different.
My shattered hopes, wounded pride and frayed identity stood with my horrible history. There's certainly no way to forget those times of weakness and foolishness.
Whenever i remember how stupid i have been to expect some spirit-boosting taps, i'm crushed over and over again. But soon enough, i realize that it's just too overwhelming to see myself whole again after everything i have gone through. I became wise.
"Life is a joke," oh yes! it really is. it shouldn't be lived with your eyes shut and your heart open for stabs.
Laissez Faire!
DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYBODY for in the end, all that would be left reachable is your own soul.
what's the real sense of happy times when you know that it will just hurt you by the end of the day? Live not the happiest of times,spare even just a dime of it for tomorrow in your time of death.
what can you find in a treasure if the real essence of it isn't in your heart?
Is having fun just the same as being true?
If you agree that it is, then i should not go.
Am i really being selfish?
Perhaps i am..
i'm sorry...because...uhm..i don't really know if i can still find you smiling tomorrow after you have read this..but...okay...uhm.. i do not embrace friendships as tight as you do. i don't know why...but maybe..just maybe.. i cannot find a real friend because the friend in me is yet to come to life.
but i love my friends...
there's no question to that...
--Peek-a-Boo--
1:11 AM
1:11 AM
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