Wednesday, November 01, 2006
It was a hollow November when solitude came brewing up somewhere beneath the bushes, mustering enough decibels to summon my sullen spirit. I found myself in a slouch at the pinnacle of deep depression. i didn't utter a word, nobody would care to listen anyway. I never cried for i knew i had nothing but drivels to cry for. I was ransacking my hypothalamus for some logic that could explain such unhappiness when a sudden surge of unseismographical pain bombed the nerves all throughout my body--a solid finely-sharpened guillotine was planted somewhere in my system. it was a curse.
Why couldn't i just accept the simple fact that what i terribly want is far beyond my limits? Why couldn't i just see it as the sky that I can never own? Why isn't letting go as easy as dropping a stone anywhere i wanted to? Why couldn't i just forget everything as if they were freakishly useless Physics formulas? Why couldn't i just break the law that did nothing but to hold me back from wanting happiness? Why have i been made scrupulous yet brittle? Why am i too wise? Why couldn't i just forget that i am smart and claim stupidity to be happy? Why do i have to be too knowledgeable about the future? Why do i have to worry too much about what could possibly happen next? Why couldn't i just be a terrible girl? Why do i have to care too much for too many people that nothing's left for my own pathetic self?
Amid these impossible-to-understand bewilderment, the chilly mist of the midnight embraced me. i was tremulous all over when I felt so alone at the same summit. No one cared to share the coldness with me but i could no longer be unhappier. The spirit of solitude came reaching out a hand for me. It was right there in front of my shaking flesh, waiting patiently for my decision to pursue or reject....right then and there.... i slumbered form the truth...a shadow moving in stealth....a soul drenched in solitary wine of hypothermia.....
~fudge...help...~
--Peek-a-Boo--
7:46 PM
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